Every parent’s dream is to see their children outperform them and become more successful than they ever imagine. If you are a person with high ambitions then you set the bar high with your own example and will have high expectations for your children too. None of us went to parenting school and finding the right amount of challenge a child can handle in a specific age is not easy. There is no manual for raising a child but teaching them a few values and attitudes early can give them a huge advantage later in life.
The importance of a growth mindset
Appreciating our children is an important part of helping them build a healthy self-esteem but it can be misleading too if we encourage them for a wrong attitude. If we attach specific characteristics to our children like being talented or smart, it might make them feel confident at first but later on, they will start comparing themselves with others and putting themselves on a scale. If they are constantly trying to be better than their peers and they don’t feel they are enough, they won’t have an independent mindset and self-assurance to carry out their own projects as an adult.
To the contrary, if we compliment them for the efforts they made for a good grade or the fact that they tried multiple times to solve a complex problem they will develop an attitude for persistence and constant learning. They will appreciate the results of their hard work and might help others too instead of always competing with them.
Be a parent, not a boss
Parents who don’t give their children the freedom of choice early enough or tell them to do things „because I said so” will raise kids who won’t have confidence to speak up in the room and who fail to keep their lives under their own control. Growing up with these limitations, it will be extremely hard for them to question authoritarian figures and to become leaders in their career.
Every parent is afraid that their children won’t listen to them. But being too controlling or letting them do whatever they want without any guidance can be harmful in the long term, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal right now. No matter how many times your little ones ask Why? you need to be patient enough to answer. After all, successful entrepreneurs are the ones who question every rule set for them.
Let yourself be vulnerable
Many parents tell only their success stories to their kids because they want them to look up to them, however, children learn just as well from mistakes as from bright moments. Don’t create an illusion of a linear story of success! Instead, teach them how they should hold on to their goal without giving up and share your failures and hard moments from your life. They will have more respect for you if they hear the whole story and they will be inspired by your efforts and your honesty.
Involve them early
Never kill the curiosity of your children by telling them they are too small to understand something. You don’t need to tell them how much savings you keep on your bank account or explain to them how to pay their taxes when they can’t even count till hundred, but telling them how many different expenditures and income sources you have will make them feel involved and encourage them to be future focused.
The way you talk about wealth is a huge influence on the money-mindset of your kids. If you attach fear and worry to talking about financial affairs then they will develop an attitude of avoidance and it will be hard for them to manage their future income. Whether they will save desperately or spend carelessly, the way they handle their finances will mirror the attitude they saw in the household they grew up in. You don’t need to be wealthy in order to raise successful children but you need to give them the right way of thinking about money.
Let them be children
As the internet age gets more and more demanding we put ourselves into a constant race and we might make our children feel overwhelmed as well. We create a schedule of extracurricular activities for them that we think will develop the right skills and later we realize that they don’t have any time to play and they are almost as stressed out as we are.
Exposure can have an amazing impact on these tiny humans but we have to let them experiment with whatever they feel like trying. Not everything they do needs to have direct benefits on their abilities: If a sports class or a creative lesson can divert their attention from their phones than it has already done its job.
We are forever learning and we don’t need to know everything better than our children. Dare to share the personal growth lessons with them you just learnt yesterday and listen to what they have to say. They might just teach you something too!